Dave and this buddies, Tyler, Jake and Ray were all construction workers, they had a side hustle of buying and flipping houses after doing renovations on them. Last month they had been ripping down drywall at their latest house when they found something odd, an old comic book, it was in to bad condition to determine what it had once been except for one page. It was one of those old fashioned adds offering unbelievable sort of products, like x-ray glasses, mail order brides and ray guns.
While relaxing with more beers then they should have the four had decided for a laugh to each pick an item do the mail order for it. The only reason any of them remembered it was that Tyler had filmed them doing it right their and mailing it for views.
None of them could remember what they ordered as Tylers video hadn’t been pointed at the right angle at any point to catch that.
Everyone figured the address and company was probably long gone and whoever had the address would themselves get a good laugh out of receiving their letters. But here a month later a package with that old companies name on it Spells R US, was sitting on his kitchen table. He’d already texted the guys who admitted they had also received a package each sending a picture of the unopened package, though in Tylers case it was a crate as tall as he was and Dave was certain he saw what looked like airholes in the picture.
Not wanting to put it off any longer he unwrapped the package. The brown paper fell away to reveal a colorful box declaring the item inside as the Spells R US BE blaster. I opened the box and pulled out the so called blaster, it was remarkedly well made, I had expected something made of cheap plastic but this felt and weighed like it was made of metal. It looked like it belonged in the 1950’s as it had rings around the barrel of the gun and a cone like design. The back had three dials on it, and a switch the seemed to be the safety locking the trigger. Of the three dials the smaller one on the left side let the user select, between a little smaller, smaller, smallest, a little bigger, bigger and biggest. The one on the right simply selected either aware or unaware. The dial on the back of the blaster was connected to a display, currently it read “Breasts”, he twisted the dial a few times seeing other options like, intelligence, hips, lips. After several twists hadn’t brought him back to the start he turned it back the other way back to the original setting of breasts.
The box also contained a leather holster that the blaster fit into allowing him to keep it at his waist like a cowboy from an old western. Fully equipped Dave got up and looked out his kitchen window, he saw Victoria his neighbour out working in her garden. She was a woman in her thirties who worked as a secretary to some firm downtown. He pulled the blaster out and checked the settings, he put one dial on bigger, the other on unaware and the dial on the back where he had left it, then pointed it at Victoria and pulled the trigger for a laugh.
He nearly dropped the blaster when a pink beam had shot out from it and hit Victoria. She stared down at the blaster in shock for a moment before looking back up to make sure Victoria was ok. His jaw dropped again as he watched her top begin to strain under the size of her expanded endowments.
He rushed outside, “Victoria are you ok?”
Victoria stood up, looking surprised at his inquiry and panicked stated, “I’m fine Dave, are you ok you seem upset about something, that house your working on proving to be more trouble then you thought?”
Dave swallowed, was she playing with him, he looked back at the blaster, then realized what the aware, unaware dial must mean. He had it set to unaware so it must mean that whomever was affected wouldn’t notice the change, was he the only one who would? He would have to test that later.
“No trouble Victoria, I just thought I saw you stumble is all.”
“Nice of you to worry about me, these girls do throw off my balance sometimes, not that my husband minds them.”
Dave swallowed again, Victoria hadn’t been married a moment ago, but then looking like she did now men would fight over claiming her.
He wished Victoria a good day and got into his car, if his package had been real what about the others. Tyler lived closet to him and he had received a crate sized package, he decided to head there first.
Ten minutes later he was pulling into Tyler’s drive way, he could see the crate open laying on his friends front porch a crow bar laying discarded beside it. He rang the doorbell, and heard a feminine voice calling out ‘coming’ a moment later. This put Dave on edge Tyler didn’t have a girlfriend, it was a running joke between the four, women just wanted nothing to do with Tylers ugly mug most days despite him wanting to find a wife and start a family.
A young blond haired woman in a 1950’s era looking dress answered the door, Dave swallowed, “Is ah Tyler home.”
She smiled, “Why yes he is, you must be one of his friends, I am Rosa, his new mail order bride.”
The answered Daves question of what Tyler had ordered but he figured he better talk to his friend before checking in on Jake and Ray.
Tyler was in living room, a cigar in his mouth, a bourbon in a shot glass at his elbow, and what looked like an instruction manual in his hands that he was focused on, Dave could see the title “The use, operation and maintenance of your Spells R US mail order Bride”
“You ordered a bride Tyler?”
Tyler put down the manual, and looked a little sheepish, “Yeah I ah guess I did, must have figured if it worked none of the rest of you would razz me about my dating disasters anymore. Besides I don’t think you have any leg to stand on with that space man toy at your hip.”
“This toy actually works, here let me show you.”
Dave pulled the ray and pointed it a Rosa who was just coming into the room with a few sandwiches on a tray. He adjusted one dial to aware just in case and pulled the trigger. The same pink beam shot from the blaster and hit Rosa.
The effects were obvious and immediate as her dress strained to contain her expanding mummeries. Rosa moaned in pleasure as it happened and she had to adjust her hold on the tray to prevent the sandwiches from being crushed under new endowments.
“Well that was rather naughty of you Dave, I felt my poor bra snap because you didn’t give me any warning. Tyler honey maybe you should ask your friend to leave and then you can come upstairs to help me change.” She gave Tyler a slutty wink as she put down the tray, leaning over to give Tyler a good view of her expanded cleavage before swaying her hips as she headed towards the stairs “Don’t make me wait to long now darling.”
Tyler gulped and looked over to Dave, “Maybe you should go and check on Jake and Ray make sure whatever they got isn’t dangerous.”
“Yeah ok, but you sure she isn’t dangerous?”
Tyler held up the manual, “Not according to what I’ve read of this so far,”
Rosa’s voice carried down from upstairs, “Dear I’m waiting” she called in a sing song voice.
Tyler got up, leaving the manual on the table, Dave caught his arm, “Are you sure you shouldn’t read that through entirely before you, well you know with her.”
Tyler pulled his arm free, “Dave no offense man but I haven’t gotten laid in months, so forgive me if I decide not saying no to a good thing matters more then reading through some dumb manual.”
With that he headed to the stairs, Dave saw himself out, but he heard the sounds of moans and creaking from inside the house before he climbed into his car and pulled out of the driveway on this way to Ray’s place which was the next closest.
Ray unlike the rest of them was actually married, he and Selina had been high school sweethearts and married three years ago. Ray though had begun to suspect that Selina was beginning to lose interest in him sexually and had become a little paranoid about watching her for potential cheating. That was doing more to harm his marriage then anything else.
Bad Ending
Six weeks later
All four friends were gathered at Ray’s place, mostly because even if the pills had slightly worn off he was still unable to move due to the weight of his own enhanced male organs.
He was the worst off of the four, Tyler felt he had it the next worse off as he had learned that his mail order bride due to mistakes he had made in his requests during the setting period he had overlooked in the manual was becoming the dominant one in the household.
Jackie seemed to be adjusting well to what had occurred to her Dave felt, at least that was how he was feeling with how the two had basically been living together for the past six weeks. It was odd at times to think his new girlfriend had once been his male friend Jake but how great the sex was made it easier. Still she was finding it hard to hide her bunny ears to go out to do things like the shopping, the tail at least was easily hidden under a dress.
His blaster had stopped working after the first week, to Ray more than his regret as it could have when it was working been used to reverse the worst of his affliction but other than that it seemed Dave had made it out of this weird experience with the least consequences.
“Maybe we can order something from that ad to fix things, does anyone remember where it ended up after we ordered these items.” Ray suggested.
All four of them exchanged looks and shook their heads.
“You mean were stuck like this forever?” Ray wailed from where he was still pinned in place. “Dave you sure that blaster of yours is out of juice, I mean maybe you can use that to shrink this down?”
Dave pulled the blaster from its holster, and adjusted the settings, and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. He looked it over again, finding this time a small compartment in the handle he pried open. It revealed a battery, with a nuclear power symbol on the side in a strange shape and configuration that made it clear no standard battery was going to fit or power the thing.
The meeting broke up soon after that, and Dave and Jackie headed back to his place. Dave joked that they should sell Jackie’s place since she spent all her time here with him and he had the bigger place. She looked embarrassed for a moment, “Actually I think we may want to sell both places and get an even bigger house.”
Dave gave her a confused look, “Why would we need more space?”
Jackie went to the bathroom and returned with something behind her back, “I just found out this morning, but..”
She handed him a little white stick, with two pink lines on it. He went pale, “your…”
She nodded then leaned in close to whisper in his ear, “and rabbits as you know have litters.”
Good ending
Six weeks later
All four friends were meeting at Ray’s as he was still to large to move.
Ray took it in stride however as Selina was more than happy in her pheromone induced state to take care of all of his needs in the house.
Rosa was helping her at the moment to prepare something for them to eat, Tylers mail order bride was proving to be talented in all sorts of useful to her husband tasks. Tyler was still finding new functions in the manual, and he found Rosa could when he wanted even give him children, though according to the manual she could only birth daughters for some reason.
Jackie seemed to be adjusting to life as a bunny girl well enough, a dress hid her bunny tail and she’d found a hat that she could just manage to hide her ears in.
“You know if these items we picked while we were drunk are this good maybe we should look through it again while sober and order a few more.” Dave scratched his head at Tylers question.
“I don’t know I thought one of you must have taken it, I never did see it again after that night, your video shows we still had it when we mailed the orders but not what we did with it after.”
“Guess that means I’m stuck like this then.” Jackie said, not sounding entirely unhappy with the arrangement as she came up behind Dave her expansive breasts resting on either side of his head.
“At least you guys can still move.” Ray lamented, “How am I supposed to make a living.”
“The strip club downtown could use you for a pole I suppose” Jackie joked.
Dave thought about things, “Ray you still have that piece of gold nugget your family claims one of your ancestors kept from a claim in the klondike?”
Ray nodded, ‘Yeah its in the safe upstairs, but that things barely the size of a pea what good will that do me?”
Dave pulled out his blaster and twisted the dial until he found the setting he was looking for, ‘object’, “Well I think we can expand on that small bit of gold and set all of ourselves up.”
The four friends grinned.
The sale of the giant nugget set all four up for life.
Items
Ray gun
Mail order bride
Enhancement pills
Hypnotist watch
Magic cream
Magic cologne
x-ray glasses
costume bunny ears – turns wearer into real bunny girl
magic magicians hat – pull bunny girl out of hat, adult toys,